2010-02-11 @ 5:17 p.m.
Jealousy
And now i feel ever so slightly ridiculous.
I'm just beginning to realise how little i enjoy sharing things i consider to belong to me. Mostly this wouldn't be a problem, you know with me not being a thief and all, if only i didn't consider people to be mine too.
I can have a ton of best friends...but they're MY bestfriends. Each and every one of them.
Which is just stupid and fairly hypocritical.
Because i like to have a bigger circle than one but a part of my brain expects them to fly solo when i'm not around.
I don't know whether it's because i feel like the special bond i have with each person is under threat when i'm absent or because i'm just having a bad day where the world is most surely out to get me.
Whichever it is, i'm left feeling like a moron.
And i really need to have a conversation with myself about people not belonging to me.
About ignoring the spark of jealousy i get when i feel i'm being replaced or forgotten.
And most definately about the fact that i need to learn to let go sometimes.
The bonds i share with these people are because they love every part of me and that's just who i am. I'm me. Stupidly over-thinking over-bearing ridiculous me.
If they wanted to replace me or forget me then they would do just that.
Though i'm pretty sure they'd be making a mistake. I'm awesome on my good days i swear.
A shit load of contradictions, wrapped up neatly, with a nice pretty bow.
Reading. Writing. Zoos & Animal Parks. Bowling. Coffee Ice-cream. Blues Rock/Alternative/Indie Music. Fallen Angels. Wild Flowers. Pastrami. Vanilla Coke. Autumn. Harry Potter. Driving. Turquoise. Southern Comfort. Aviators. Semolina. Christmas. Museums. Dream Catchers. Roller Coasters. Tattoos. Winter Cider. Philosophy. Vintage Shops. Night time. Chinese Lanterns. Hoop earrings. Sci-Fi. Flowery Skirts. Mythical Creatures. Weeping Willows. Castles. Yankee Candles. Rainy Mornings. Ballet Pumps. Baking. Art Galleries. Long pendants. Quills and Ink. Spiced Rum. Libraries. Sleeping. Converse. Forests. Banana Milk. Venetian Masks. Poetry. Fireworks. US License Plates. Graveyards. Quotes. White Chocolate. Cats. Stars. Scrap Books. Shopping. Metallic Nail Varnish. Keepsakes. Phoenixes. Golden Grahams. Horror Movies. Tea (Esp. Rose Earl Grey). Lemonade Shower Gel. Travelling. Tragic Love. Piercings. Old Book & New Sponge Smells. Storms. Witty People. Cherries. Colourful Socks. American Dramas. Airports. Aston Martins. Hazelnut Lattes. Cowboys. Skeleton Keys. Cajun Chicken. Ivy. Dreams. Cinnamon Waffles. Old London. French Cheese. Trilby Hats. Antiques. Colourful Plasters. Postcards. Colourful paperclips. Bangles. Marvel & DC Comics. Key rings. Notebooks.
Dishonesty. Racism. Narrow-Mindedness. Idiocy. Unwarranted Violence. Neglective Parents. Bullying. Unearned Respect. Betrayal. Extreme Heat. Bright Lights. Sickness. Mushrooms & Olives. Alarm Clocks. Unfounded Jealousy. South African Accents. Celebrity Biographies. Suffocating Presences. Restrictions. Superficial people. Game playing. Routines.
Robert Frost Leather Bound Journal.
Small Vinyl Book Ends.
Astro Star Lamp.
designer
joy.deprived