It's so hard for me to explain, but then again, anything involving my emotions doesn't come naturally to me.

When i moved in i told myself i was just going to be me.

I was going to be happy and sarcastic and stubborn and ocd and kind.

And that's all i've done.

I've just done what felt right and behaved exactly the way that comes naturally to me.

And i haven't felt more at home than i do right now.

They're all so very different to me, but they've accepted me just the way i am.

Noone cares if i pick up their shoes off the floor and put them neatly on the rack.

Noone cares if i listen to rock music whilst trying to bake cookies for the first time.

Noone cares if i sleep for the whole day and walk around in bright coloured pjs.

Noone cares if i stay up all night studying at the dining room table.

Noone cares if i watch horror movies in the morning.

Noone cares if i have friends over at the most random times.

Noone cares if i make soppy lasagne, they want to eat it any way.

Noone cares if i walk around straightening things.

Noone cares if i curl up on the sofa with my book and shut the world out.

Noone cares.

And not in a bad way. They just accept it all at face value.

It's just so comforting.

I really feel....just content.

I feel like i can do anything that takes my fancy.

Monday i cooked lasagne. Tuesday i baked chocolate chip cookies. Yesterday peanut butter cupcakes. Tonight i'll make spaghetti and meatballs. Tomorrow turkey and veg stirfry.

I always felt too nervous to try cooking.

I guess because i always thought there was someone hovering over me saying 'not like that!!'.

But i don't care anymore. I'm experimenting and i'm having fun doing it.

Simon eats whatever i cook, but i think that's cause he's a worse cook than me.

That said, Zowie did eat my leftover lasagne yesterday and she liked it.

And Chris has been stealing cookies... :-D

I feel like all of a sudden i don't mind sharing either.

Previously i kept all my things seperately and i worried about what i could use and what i couldn't.

But it's just so relaxed here, we share stuff and nobody takes advantage.

It's just so...nice.

It's the little things that make me smile.

I decided to do all the washing up and suddenly Simon was next to me drying everything up and putting it away.

Zowie and me watching tv and laughing away.

Simon always saying na night before he goes into his room.

Chris helping me with bags.

Zowie and Chris licking the cookie mix out of the bowl.

Charlotte (Chris's girlfrind) and me talking for hours about books and googling recipes.

It's so nice to meet someone doing English at Uni.

I got to ask her a ton of questions that had been bugging me and she really helped me see what it would be like next year.

We have different tastes in books too so that was interesting...i'm definately more of a classics and fantasy fiction girl.

She's autobiographies and modernist writing.

But we do have one big thing in common.

HARRY POTTER.

She was just as excited as me by the movie portfolio i picked up in Waterstones.

It's just all so relaxed and friendly that i feel right at home.

I'm downstairs in the dining room right now listening to my new playlist and drinking coffee.

I have a load of homework to do but for some reason i've stopped finding it all so daunting.

I did my history assignment in less than 24 hours, and god knows if it's any good, but it's done and i'll have to wait and see.

I got my Maths exam result back. 100% :-).

But then Maths has always been fairly easy for me. My homework tends to be between 95 and 100%.

And Sociology. Some questions i got a Pass (C), quite a few at Merit grade (B) and one at Distinction (A).

He said i got the highest in the class :-). A definite Merit grade over all and if i do my essay really well i can get Distinction over all!

I'm so proud of myself right now that i know i sound egotistical.

But god damn it. I'm doing well and i'm happy about it.

I've got to work on my personal statement today; finish off my I.C.T assignment; and do some research on the Russian Revolution.

I can't wait to get my Psychology and History assignments back. I'll be happy so long as i get Merit grades...but lord knows if i will.

I also need to finish editing my Comms assignment to make it a distinction.

Overall i feel like my college work is to a good standard and i'm hopeful that i'll be passing this course at Merit or possibly Distinction level.

God knows if i'll be this optimistic in eight months time...but for now i am.

So what else is new?

Sorted out my mail redirection this morning so i won't be getting anything through the post for a while.

Which is daft 'cause i just ordered the Oxford Encyclopedia of Literary Terms....

Money wise, i'm not as bad off as i thought, but i seriously need to get everything on ebay this weekend and start recieving my ALG payments to make sure i get christmas presents and my camera out of the way.

Then i'll be free to start looking for a part time job and advertise my babysitting services.

I managed to get my rent reduced by �15 a month 'cause Zowie questioned why i was paying more than them and it turns out they were trying to charge me for Jess's (the girl who was in my room previously) finding fee.

Well i put paid to that shit and they've agreed to put it down.

Now i'm just waiting for the paperwork and refund for what i've already paid. So i can transfer next months rent and bills to Zowie's account by the 27th.

I haven't spoken to my family all that much nor Lynn. I'll make the phone call rounds today seen as i'm staying in.

Tivi and Shay have already been over and they love the place.

My bedroom is fabulously big. I've started organising everything and i have an Argos delivery coming today with the rest of my storage solutions and then hopefully by tomorrow i'll have it all sorted.

I'm going to send my big canvases back with my Ma when she comes down next weekend (in her new car - super excited to see it!) cause there are no nails on the wall.

Instead i'm going to find as many things as possible to blue tak or pin onto the walls. Can't have them this bare for too long!!

My bed is super comfy too. That's always good.

And the social area set up is brill. So much room so we're never in each others hair.

The only downside to this house is the crazy ass noise that comes through the ventilation anytime someone uses the shower.

Sometimes i think a plane is going to land next to my window.

It would be pretty hilarious, if only i seriously didn't wanna sleep in those moments... :-)

Oh well. We all have to suffer it!

I'll have to go and visit Lorna soon. I feel like i'm completely neglecting them.

Me and Becky are going to see Harry Potter tomorrow.

I've been waiting for this for so god damn long that anytime you mention it, it's like fireworks set off in my face.

At least i make people giggle.

I'm heading straight to hers after college tomorrow and we're booked on the half four showing.

Then we're coming back here to hang out and she'll most likely stay over. Probably watch the new Nightmare On Elm Street (i've been waiting to watch that with someone) and i'm cooking dinner for us.

Shay, Jamie and me are going bowling next week!

We haven't organised it properly but i'm so excited. I love bowling.

The internet speed is really good here so all my stuff is finally downloading.

I'm racking my brains now to think of everything i wanted to say.

I seriously just feel so content right now.

Not stupid happy.

Just like this is how it's supposed to be for the next eight months.

That if i can find this level of completeness now, then surely i'll find it at whatever University will have me.

I'm slightly doubtful about how much travelling i can do. But i'm not writing it off just yet.

I've been having more ideas for writing too.

I wrote a couple of poems the other day, and i had two really vivid short story ideas that i'm itching to try out.

First i'm going to catch up on college work and get my room sorted. Then i can do a bit of reading, writing and painting.

Atlas Shrugged is getting a bit of attention every night and it still has me enthralled.

Even though i'm not on top of everything, i feel like i am, or that i know i will be and it won't be so hard.

I've given myself some direction, and even though everything still feels so god damn uncertain.

I'm not stressed about it.

Everything works out in the end. That should be like some sort of bleedin' motto of mine.

But no matter how shitty my attitude gets, i believe that.

I've also noticed my confidence and friendliness getting a little boost lately.

I guess it's because i always have someone to talk to now, that i find myself making more of an effort.

Just to be polite and sweet to strangers.

And to get to know people better - give them a chance and hope they give me one back.

But it doesn't feel forced like it sometimes used to.

It just feels...natural.

Like i'm naturally nice.

I don't know about that really, but it's working for now.

Well my Argos delivery just arrived so i'm going to have another coffee and get started on making my book shelves - now that'll be fun.

But i've just had this desire lately to learn how to do everything for myself.

I'm not just accepting things as too hard anymore. I'll prove to myself just how hard it is through practise.

Trial and error.

Oh and before i forget. I can't find my bleedin' plants.

For the life of me i can't figure out where they've gone.

I'm hoping i left them at the house on Gladstone Street and my Ma can collect them.

I miss my plants.