2011-12-05 @ 11:17 a.m.
Hollow
When I started this degree I thought writing essays and doing presentations was going to be as hard as it got. The creative stuff? I thought I had that nailed. Now it�s the complete opposite. I churn my essays and presentations out the day before they�re due and still get great grades, but my creative piece is making my crazy.
I understand why I feel like this, I honestly do, but god damn it, being a writer is a little bit stressful sometimes. I don�t want to make mistakes, I want this story to be amazing, I want it to be epic. I feel like I�ve taken bits and pieces of myself, shed parts of my heart and soul and churned them in with the plot, the characters, the dialogue. If the story dies then so does a part of me. It�s ridiculous, and I know I�m being overly sensitive. But it means too much � it�s a little bit of who I am.
I�m also tired of having no money. I�m tired of not being able to wear contact lenses in this rainy weather. I�m tired of not being able to buy fresh fruit. I�m tired of not being able to drink away my stress at the weekend. I�m tired of not being able to go see movies I�ve waited years for. I�m tired of not being able to go into town because I feel too sad about not buying Christmas presents. I�m tired of not being able to call friends and family. I�m tired of not being able to visit people.
Mostly, I�m tired of not feeling free to do as I please. The sooner Jan 16th comes about, the better.
A shit load of contradictions, wrapped up neatly, with a nice pretty bow.
Reading. Writing. Zoos & Animal Parks. Bowling. Coffee Ice-cream. Blues Rock/Alternative/Indie Music. Fallen Angels. Wild Flowers. Pastrami. Vanilla Coke. Autumn. Harry Potter. Driving. Turquoise. Southern Comfort. Aviators. Semolina. Christmas. Museums. Dream Catchers. Roller Coasters. Tattoos. Winter Cider. Philosophy. Vintage Shops. Night time. Chinese Lanterns. Hoop earrings. Sci-Fi. Flowery Skirts. Mythical Creatures. Weeping Willows. Castles. Yankee Candles. Rainy Mornings. Ballet Pumps. Baking. Art Galleries. Long pendants. Quills and Ink. Spiced Rum. Libraries. Sleeping. Converse. Forests. Banana Milk. Venetian Masks. Poetry. Fireworks. US License Plates. Graveyards. Quotes. White Chocolate. Cats. Stars. Scrap Books. Shopping. Metallic Nail Varnish. Keepsakes. Phoenixes. Golden Grahams. Horror Movies. Tea (Esp. Rose Earl Grey). Lemonade Shower Gel. Travelling. Tragic Love. Piercings. Old Book & New Sponge Smells. Storms. Witty People. Cherries. Colourful Socks. American Dramas. Airports. Aston Martins. Hazelnut Lattes. Cowboys. Skeleton Keys. Cajun Chicken. Ivy. Dreams. Cinnamon Waffles. Old London. French Cheese. Trilby Hats. Antiques. Colourful Plasters. Postcards. Colourful paperclips. Bangles. Marvel & DC Comics. Key rings. Notebooks.
Dishonesty. Racism. Narrow-Mindedness. Idiocy. Unwarranted Violence. Neglective Parents. Bullying. Unearned Respect. Betrayal. Extreme Heat. Bright Lights. Sickness. Mushrooms & Olives. Alarm Clocks. Unfounded Jealousy. South African Accents. Celebrity Biographies. Suffocating Presences. Restrictions. Superficial people. Game playing. Routines.
Robert Frost Leather Bound Journal.
Small Vinyl Book Ends.
Astro Star Lamp.
designer
joy.deprived