2010-03-11 @ 11:32 a.m.
*Sob*
They made me wait two weeks, on edge, to tell me i didn't get the job.
I spent money i didn't have to pay for a suit and a hotel room so i wasn't tired for my tests.
I travelled to another country to have two interviews.
I spent time revising and getting help from everyone and anyone i knew.
I stressed myself out so much i had to wear my glasses cause my tired and headachey eyes wouldn't take my lenses.
I forgot my pin numbers for a whole week.
Everyone was positive i would get it - they all thought i was good enough.
But I really wasn't good enough in the end.
I went out on a limb, i convinced myself that i could do this.
That i was strong and confident enough to get this.
Obviously not.
I feel like shit.
I haven't cryed this much in a long time.
And all i feel like saying now is
FUCK IT ALL TO HELL.
A shit load of contradictions, wrapped up neatly, with a nice pretty bow.
Reading. Writing. Zoos & Animal Parks. Bowling. Coffee Ice-cream. Blues Rock/Alternative/Indie Music. Fallen Angels. Wild Flowers. Pastrami. Vanilla Coke. Autumn. Harry Potter. Driving. Turquoise. Southern Comfort. Aviators. Semolina. Christmas. Museums. Dream Catchers. Roller Coasters. Tattoos. Winter Cider. Philosophy. Vintage Shops. Night time. Chinese Lanterns. Hoop earrings. Sci-Fi. Flowery Skirts. Mythical Creatures. Weeping Willows. Castles. Yankee Candles. Rainy Mornings. Ballet Pumps. Baking. Art Galleries. Long pendants. Quills and Ink. Spiced Rum. Libraries. Sleeping. Converse. Forests. Banana Milk. Venetian Masks. Poetry. Fireworks. US License Plates. Graveyards. Quotes. White Chocolate. Cats. Stars. Scrap Books. Shopping. Metallic Nail Varnish. Keepsakes. Phoenixes. Golden Grahams. Horror Movies. Tea (Esp. Rose Earl Grey). Lemonade Shower Gel. Travelling. Tragic Love. Piercings. Old Book & New Sponge Smells. Storms. Witty People. Cherries. Colourful Socks. American Dramas. Airports. Aston Martins. Hazelnut Lattes. Cowboys. Skeleton Keys. Cajun Chicken. Ivy. Dreams. Cinnamon Waffles. Old London. French Cheese. Trilby Hats. Antiques. Colourful Plasters. Postcards. Colourful paperclips. Bangles. Marvel & DC Comics. Key rings. Notebooks.
Dishonesty. Racism. Narrow-Mindedness. Idiocy. Unwarranted Violence. Neglective Parents. Bullying. Unearned Respect. Betrayal. Extreme Heat. Bright Lights. Sickness. Mushrooms & Olives. Alarm Clocks. Unfounded Jealousy. South African Accents. Celebrity Biographies. Suffocating Presences. Restrictions. Superficial people. Game playing. Routines.
Robert Frost Leather Bound Journal.
Small Vinyl Book Ends.
Astro Star Lamp.
designer
joy.deprived