2010-06-16 @ 9:22 p.m.
Dig Deeper
I'm like a starling's wing clamped in the jaws of a friendly neighbourhood cat. Bloody and Broken.
I'm like the last weeping willow rooted to a river bed after a flash flood. Sad and Alone.
Sometimes i'm so hollow i echo.
I'm emotionally battered. Physically exhausted.
Everything makes little slits in my heart now. Cuts for oppression. Slashs for injustice. Nothing heals permanently. They ooze feeling. They exude life.
I'm broken and twisted inside. Splintered bones and ruptured arteries. Confused and Vulnerable.
I don't belong. I don't have a home.
A ship with no anchor. A kite with no string.
I cry. All the time now.
I cry for everything and everyone. I cry for the memories of the past and the uncertainties of the future. Yet noone knows.
I cry for all the times i've been made unhappy and all the times i've ruined my own happiness.
My heart is so heavy i think it might sink through my ribcage, dripping acid, ruining everything in it's path...just to make it to the outside world. Just for a second in the palm of my hand.
Leaving me empty. Void.
Sometimes i think i might savagely cut it out myself. The cold steel relieving the suppressed inferno inside.
I want an anaesthetic. I want to be numbed.
I envy simple people for their simple lives.
Then i loathe myself for wanting something no sane person should want.
I'm like a buoy on the ocean. Pulled in so many directions but never really free.
The salt and the weeds corroding my bonds to the sea bed over time, only to be replaced by outside forces when the light starts to show, killing the hope. Dashing the dream.
Shackling me without thought.
I love blindly. I hate too clearly.
My soul knows torture. They are friends now. They're bound to reunite on my path.
I'm so scared of myself. I'm so unsure of everything.
<<ghosts []the mist>>
A shit load of contradictions, wrapped up neatly, with a nice pretty bow.
Reading. Writing. Zoos & Animal Parks. Bowling. Coffee Ice-cream. Blues Rock/Alternative/Indie Music. Fallen Angels. Wild Flowers. Pastrami. Vanilla Coke. Autumn. Harry Potter. Driving. Turquoise. Southern Comfort. Aviators. Semolina. Christmas. Museums. Dream Catchers. Roller Coasters. Tattoos. Winter Cider. Philosophy. Vintage Shops. Night time. Chinese Lanterns. Hoop earrings. Sci-Fi. Flowery Skirts. Mythical Creatures. Weeping Willows. Castles. Yankee Candles. Rainy Mornings. Ballet Pumps. Baking. Art Galleries. Long pendants. Quills and Ink. Spiced Rum. Libraries. Sleeping. Converse. Forests. Banana Milk. Venetian Masks. Poetry. Fireworks. US License Plates. Graveyards. Quotes. White Chocolate. Cats. Stars. Scrap Books. Shopping. Metallic Nail Varnish. Keepsakes. Phoenixes. Golden Grahams. Horror Movies. Tea (Esp. Rose Earl Grey). Lemonade Shower Gel. Travelling. Tragic Love. Piercings. Old Book & New Sponge Smells. Storms. Witty People. Cherries. Colourful Socks. American Dramas. Airports. Aston Martins. Hazelnut Lattes. Cowboys. Skeleton Keys. Cajun Chicken. Ivy. Dreams. Cinnamon Waffles. Old London. French Cheese. Trilby Hats. Antiques. Colourful Plasters. Postcards. Colourful paperclips. Bangles. Marvel & DC Comics. Key rings. Notebooks.
Dishonesty. Racism. Narrow-Mindedness. Idiocy. Unwarranted Violence. Neglective Parents. Bullying. Unearned Respect. Betrayal. Extreme Heat. Bright Lights. Sickness. Mushrooms & Olives. Alarm Clocks. Unfounded Jealousy. South African Accents. Celebrity Biographies. Suffocating Presences. Restrictions. Superficial people. Game playing. Routines.
Robert Frost Leather Bound Journal.
Small Vinyl Book Ends.
Astro Star Lamp.
designer
joy.deprived