I�ve always been the sort of person to get on with guys better than I do girls, and I guess in some ways I couldn�t even tell you why. I could say that it�s because girls are bitchier, but that wouldn�t be true; in my experience guys like to gossip just as much as girls do.

Mostly I guess it�s the laid back factor. I�m a pretty chilled out person � I laugh a lot, I love sarcasm and practical jokes, I�m always willing to watch a movie or go for a drink and I�m always smiling at strangers or striking up random conversations. A lot of people would tell you they find it hard to imagine me being serious, or that the idea of me driving a car or doing something else responsible sort of scares them, but then the people that see the real me will tell you I�m one of the most level headed people they know. I�m both people � I�m this crazy ass silly person who can�t stop giggling at stupid stuff, and I�m this optimistic, patient, logical person who gets things done.

Shit happens. I�ve had my ups and downs, but I�m a versatile person and I love life; basically it shows.

I guess what I�m getting at is the house dynamic. It�s amusing to watch how it�s changed over the past few weeks; how we�ve learnt more about each other and become so much more relaxed. Then the relationships sort of start to adapt to this new found information and you can really get an idea of how the rest of the year will play out.

I like all my housemates, I really do. I still love where we live � even if the fire alarm did make me parade across campus in my pjs this morning � and I adore my room. I adore it all.

Jonny irritates the hell out of me occasionally, and we�ve learnt to stay out of each other�s way a bit, but we mostly exist harmoniously. The problem being that I�m a call-you-out-on-your-stupid-shit kind of person, and he�s one of the most dramatic and inconsiderate people I�ve met. But, like I said, we exist mostly harmoniously. In past times I might have worried and fretted about the situation, but I know that you just have to find a way around people that don�t conform to your expectations, and that�s exactly what I do with Jonny. No more childish bullshit of starting arguments, if one of us does something to irritate the other than we kind of speak up, then hug and make up.

Azumi had a few days where she started to irritate me too (can you see a pattern? The silliest of things irritate me sometimes) but then I sort of told myself to shut up and stop being so persnickety. She pretty much keeps to herself 50% of the time, but when she is around we have some nice chats and we always walk down together if we�re starting around the same time. The problem there was that she likes to tell me when I�m wrong, which is no bad thing on her part, but I�m such an awkward bitch when you tell me I�ve got it wrong. I�m learning fast to just suck it up and learn from my mistakes.

Sarah is still the sweetest thing. Completely na�ve and rather awkward with her social interactions, but I always make an effort to speak to her if I see her around. The staring thing she does can put me on edge sometimes, and then the silly side of me finds it hard not to laugh when she does it. But I guess you could say we�re all getting used to her, and the staring at that, disconcerting as it may continue to be.

Claire�I adore Claire, I really do. But she�s so god damn serious right now. Her boyfriend came to stay and since then she�s adopted this attitude that the rest of us are completely silly and she�s just here to work. It�s so annoying �cause she�s making me feel as though I�ve let her down, just because I persist in laughing and having a good time. I just think�grrr�ever since he came to stay the totally fun side of her that would just lie across my floor chatting to me has disappeared. It�s like I can feel her disapproval and that never sits well with me. I won�t allow people to guilt me into changing, but I seriously wish she�d lighten up�just unload and float with me.

Now my two rocks have been Luke and Rob. I love these guys � and not in a romantic way, despite the comments that float around.

Bobby, as I call him, is still as hilarious as always. We have the sort of friendship where he sits and eats my food off my plate or straight off whatever I�m cooking it in, comes into my room at all hours to dive bomb my bed and surprises me by having a cup of tea waiting for me on the porch when I get back from doing my washing. It�s so nice to have him around, because even though he knows how to be perfectly serious, and we have some pretty in-depth conversations, he�s the kind of guy that makes everything fun.

And Luke is just the same. He�s not a funny guy like Rob is, but he�s so easy going he just makes me feel calm. Nearly every night recently he�s been bored and called me into his room to watch movies. Tonight it was Crazy, Stupid Love and he spent the whole time laughing at my reactions to Ryan Gosling�but it�s Ryan Gosling!! He�s too hot for his own good. We play cards together a lot, and boy does he reveal hidden sides to himself when he gets talking, and we�ve definitely formed the habit of wedging our doors open every day and calling out to each other.

It�s just so nice to have the two of them, and I feel bad saying that because I know my other entry sang the praises of Claire. But god, women have this awful propensity to just get naggy and serious and just, ugh! And yes, I know I�m a woman and I�m perfectly enabled to do these things too, but I�m just not really like that in real life. I like being free and happy and just having a stupendous time of it�why can�t she just loosen up a tincy bit and be happy again?

I don�t know. But anyhow, we had a house quiz night the other night; totally hilarious and such good fun. I finally spoke to Lew, which made me feel so much better � like I can�t even tell you how much. I miss my brother like crazy. Then Nika rung me today and that made me start to miss her too, she sounded a lot better though, and was talking about coming to see me next month. I think Lew is going to do the same, so next month sounds busy. Busy, busy bee.

Mum is apparently selling the family house, which kind of makes me a bit mad. I mean�the step sisters are all set up in their own house with no rent to pay for three years; Lewis is going to be bought a flat and not have to pay rent for at least two years;�and then there�s me, the only one actually pursuing a university education, the smart one and the free one, and she was obviously pretty unhappy about the prospect of me staying with her for the summer months, I just�I don�t ever know what I�m doing right or wrong with her, I seriously don�t. Nika was all sort of outraged on my behalf, but you know what I said �Nika, when has she ever been any different when it comes to me?� and she knew exactly what I meant. I�m my father�s daughter to her, and no amount of trying to be sensible will change that.

Gah. Better stuff now�I went to the WHR (Winchester Hospital Radio) talk thingy and it seems like so much fun. There�s so much to do � work in the library, write for the show, visit patients or even go on air. I�ve sent off all the forms and will hopefully hear back from them soon! There were some really nice people there too, and I was a regular old chatter box so I made some new friends that had Facebooked me when I got home.

I�m in the process of filling out the form to volunteer at the Prison Visitor�s Centre, to work with the children whose dads are in jail � sort of ironic I guess, but hopefully that will work out too. Bobby is interested in doing both, so it will be super fun if we both somehow get to work together.

Classes are still going great � Luke says I�ve got to stop talking of films with the scriptwriting terminology, but I told him I would after my first essay was out of the way. That�s my task this weekend � after the bleedin� open day room shower thing tomorrow I�m going to sit myself down and make huge headway on both my essays. It�s definitely a plan Stan.

Ah, I�m trying to think if there�s anything else I want off my chest�

No, I think that�s about it. Much love for everything at the minute�although there was something I keep meaning to put down in words and they always fail me. Here it is:

I feel brave. I feel braver than I�ve ever felt in my entire life. I�m walking into rooms and striking up conversations with all and sundry, I�m speaking up in all my classes without fear of ridicule and I�m doing the things that would normally make me run screaming in the opposite direction.

I�m inviting hundreds of people into my room and letting them question me about university life, I�m going to volunteer meets where they make you stand up and talk about yourself in front of a crowd, and I�m a student rep who has to talk to all of the faculty about current issues �and I�m making people laugh while I do it.

I feel like a part of me is thriving in this place. A part I never knew I had until recently. I feel so brave, and I don�t ever want that feeling to fade.

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