It might have something to do with the fact that Lynn and me cleared the air at last. We both got to say what we needed to say, and even though i'm still hurt by the whole situation, i think i can learn to trust her again in time, and i'm hopeful that we'l remain friends. Really good friends. We might be going to Ikea later on today to shop for some bits for when i move so that'l be nice.

Or it might have something to do with the fact that my little cousin Justin has been staying with us for the past week and his enthusiastic hugs and kisses, though unexpected, really are rather sweet. He told me he was still my 'nu nu', which was so adorable it made me want to steal him and keep him with us forever, it's something i used to call him when he was little and i'm touched he remembered. And then when i tried on one of my new dresses to show my Grams ( the white crochet summery one) he came over and hugged me telling i looked really pretty....so so sweet it almost gave me tooth ache.

Or it might even have something to do with my Ma's latest stunt, with her telling my brother that she considered him old enough to fend for himself at 16 and if the house wasn't kept spotless she would send him to live with his father. It was mean, and it made me angry, but it was just so 'her' it almost made me smile. I'm angry at my Mum, and it's okay to be angry with her, i have my reasons. I understand she didn't have an ideal childhood, but that's no excuse to make ours just as bad as hers. I can't forgive her, and i won't ever forget, but i'm not going to beat myself up by feeling guilty about the animosity i hold towards her, it's okay, it really is. And somehow, just knowing that, makes me feel a bit happier.

Or maybe, it was just a combination of all three things. Lynn telling me that i was so lucky, to have my family, to have my brother, who's so loyal to me you just can't find that anywhere else. I am lucky.

I'm not so worried about my parallel parking anymore either, because i know too many people who either can't or won't do it themselves. It doesn't matter which catagory i fall under, it just matters that i'm not on my own. I'll find somewhere to park each day, even if it takes me a while.