I finally managed to sell the Prodigy tickets on ebay, but the buyer still hadn't paid for them or contacted me in any way by yesterday evening, and i'd given him a deadline too, so i was forced to sell them again...with only a few days to go until the concert, ebay is still flooded with hundreds of tickets and they aren't going for very much at all, a heck of a lot weren't even selling....so i just did them at a buy it now with a cheaper price than what we bought them for (marginally), and thankfully they sold and the buyers paid for them right away. Lewis is posting them out special delivery for me today, and it sucks that we've lost money, but really it was only a max of �15 a ticket we lost...and there's not really a lot i could have done about it, considering the other buyer decided not to pay, time wasters huh.

But anyways, the reasons i'm stating all of this is because, right now, not this very minute of course, but in general, i'm pretty fucking pissed. A �15 loss i can deal with, cause at least we managed to make some of our money back, what with cancelling at such short notice. Some people made far less than us and some people won't even manage to sell theres. No the reason i'm even bothering to talk about it at all is because of the stupid fucking phone call i got from Lynn last night.

If i wasn't pissed enough about the fact that they were watching my ebay to see what they sold for, asking me for copies of the ebay and paypal fees, on top of postage recipts was just fricking ridiculous.
Do they think i'm going to fucking rob them or something? How absolutely shitting retarded. Pathetic. Completely and utterly childish.
*screams*

Her husband is now stooping to new lows in his war against me, and the frustrating part is that she's doing everything she can to appease him. He's a fucking moron and she's an absolute twat if she can't see it for herself.

We wouldn't be in this situation if it wasn't for him and his bullying. He's blown everything out of proportion because he didn't like someone standing up to him, giving him a few home truths. He didn't like that i could see how weak and stupid he was.

And she's just playing up to him because of her warped idea of marriage and obedience.
Sometimes it makes me sick.

I've just been texting her actually, and she asked me where it all went wrong, and i hadn't really thought about it before now, but truely it went wrong in the very beginning.

I couldn't get her to make any real sort of effort unless we included John in everything we did, and it was only after i tried to befriend him that we started doing things and became actual friends rather than work friends.

She lets him dictate what she does with her life without even realising it. We never would have become proper friends if i hadn't befriended the whole family, he doesn't allow her to have things of her own. So i guess in that respect i shouldn't regret doing it, because i have some pretty good memories.

Pumpkin carving and halloween facepaint. Maccy D breakfasts and forest walks in slippers. Sweeney Todd laughs. Asda trips and talks over coffee. Cider nights. Takeout and movie nights. Germany and Belgium Christmas markets. Crazy driving trips. Midnight showing of New Moon and Keane concert.

I was so comfortable there i even kept my second pair of slipper boots in the cupboard under the stairs.

I almost don't regret it. Almost.

Next time Rachael, don't befriend the partners, just be pleaseant to them and leave it at that. Or better yet, don't befriend people that let other people control their actions.

In other news, i came home from work a few days ago to find my Ma had chucked all my possessions across the living room in a fit of rage over the state of the house. And by state i mean the fact that i left two plates in the sink and my brother left his usual mess lying around. She even managed to dent the wall pretty badly,

So i blew up at her, because frankly i've had enough of her childish behaviour and destroying my property is taking it a tad bit too far. I even ended up swearing a fair bit, i was that angry. I don't think i've ever swore at my Ma before then.

I went out to cool down a bit and when i came back she'd left me a little note saying 'I'm sorry! Love Mum x '. So i guess she realised she'd pissed me off a little bit too much, gone that little bit too far. I kept the note.

It really is a good job i'm moving in 12 days. Seriously.

What else have i been doing...i've decided to copy all of my DVDs onto harddrives like i did my boxsets, purely because it will be easier to transport them and it gives me more space in my bedroom. It will also generate me a nice profit when i sell them, so aswell as purchasing the harddrives and media player, i should have enough money to get my new SLR camera before the family holiday, and then get my new laptop afterwards.

I had a quick look on Dell's website last night and i'm stuck deciding between two different covers - one that's mainly black with a treeline and the northern lights, i think it's called electric night, and another that's mainly pale blue and has a cityscape in black reflecting as a forest, i think that one's called cement jungle.

I really like them both so i'm going to have to think it through - no point spending all that money and not adoring it.

I've been going crazy putting all my stuff on ebay, clearing out so much stuff, but it's such a relief. Been bidding on a ton of Pilgrim jewelrey too

Topless hot guy just came through the station. Dude is DEFINED, has god damn hip piercings and a tribal tattoo that disappears down his fricking trousers, amoungst others!
God, he doesn't know what he does to me. If he had longer hair and a lip piercing i don't think i'd be able to control myself.
He knows he's hot though, so it's sort of off putting. But that doesn't stop me oggling. Jeesh.

I've been thinking some more about my back tattoo, and i keep changing my mind about what i want done. Now i'm thinking of getting smaller wings with a kind of tribal bridging. I want the feathers of the wings to be ink black and ruffled just like real feathers, stretching up and the tips just brushing over the edges of my shoulders. The bridging i want replicated from this antique psychadelic chandelier i've found.

Then i was thinking of getting a fallen feather, sort of like it's dropped off the wing and drifted, further down my back, but this feather would have the birds flying off of it. Maybe a few fallen feathers...

Then i need to find a way to work in the quotes, bars of music and a few other little bits i'd like - maybe somewhere else on my back and neck...i don't know, but i'll work it out.

I just need to start drawing really and see what i come up with. Much like everything in life...you just gotta try it and hope it works out like you want it to.

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