I truly hate being sick. I feel like someone's placed a veil over my mind and i can't think properly. It's all muffled.

But once i feel better, everything becomes clearer.

And i feel less worried about everything.

I get my wits back. And that's always important.

Well anyway. I woke up flat on my back with my arms at my sides, smack bang in the middle of my bed, with my duvet and pillows caving me in.

It made me giggle a bit. Which was the first sign that i was better.

I felt happy waking up - doesn't always work that way with me. Mornings usually suck.

I ventured downstairs for some golden grahams and coffee and found my voice was back upon talking to Simon.

I still sound a bit gravelly but it's getting there.

After breakfast i stretched out on the sofa and read Atlas Shrugged for around 50 pages.

Would have been more had i not decided to get all organised again.

I threw all my college folders, and anything else that needed sorting out this weekend, onto the dining room table and got myself showered and dressed.

Wrote out letters to Hastings Direct and ALG and then walked down the road to the post box to post them, along with Laura's birthday card and Ma's car parking tickets.

On my walk back i decided to pop into the hotel and enquire about the gym.

A guy showed me round and i decided i like it. It's small and quiet and perfect for me. One minute from my door step and a beautiful tattooed man for me to oggle.

So i'm going to sign up next week - just waiting to hear back from him about my health scheme discount.

Well anyway.

I got back home and made a start on all the rubbish i've allowed to accumulate.

Redid my filofax all nice and neat.

Went through my Maths folder with my sticky subject labels and plastic wallets.

Did the same for Psychology...only that ended up taking me hours upon hours because i re-read everything we've been taught since half term and made a bunch of notes, in order to understand the assignment that's being set soon.

I feel so much better about it now though. I felt like i was wasting my time at first, but i know what it is i've got to do, and i've checked over all the books i got from the library and they'll all be a really big help.

Fingers crossed i'll write a good one out. If i put my mind to it, i should be able to sit here for one day and get it done.

I have everything i need at my disposal so i have no excuses really.

I even started working out the averages of the experiment results for my graphs and tables.

Tomorrow i'm going to do the same for my Sociology, English, Comms, ICT and History folders.

Sociology and History might take a while because they both have papers due that i don't yet feel confident about, but it needs to be done.

And once it is, i'll know how long i need to get the work completed to a good standard.

Only problem is in finding books for both of those subjects.

Graca cleared out St Albans library of the History books and the college library doesn't have a lot that helps with either.

I may have to resort to taking stuff from Bedford Library and holding onto it for a while through phone call extensions.

Another sign i'm well is my desire to cook returning.

I've been living off reheated lasagne and whatever else i could be bothered to concoct all week.

Tonight i made grilled seasoned pork steaks with mash potato and steamed veg.

T'was yummy.

I have some bananas that are starting to look overly ripe, so i googled a recipe for banana muffins and will have a go at that tomorrow arvo.

I have enough horror movies and snacks to make the horror movie night a success - though i don't know what i'm cooking for dinner.

I'll just ask Shay what she fancies and try and make it i suppose.

Nika rang me today and we had a good old chat.

I know what she wants for christmas now, so that's a relief, and i ran the kids present ideas through her and she thought they were great.

I gave her four possible books she could get me.

Ayn Rand - The Fountainhead
Joseph Heller - Catch 22
Anthony Burgess - A Clockwork Orange
George Orwell - 1984

She asked me if i really wanted books, cause surely i wanted something a bit more exciting and fun.

But seriously? Books are exciting. Super exciting. And mountains of fun. For me anyhow.

And you can never have enough books.

I'm fairly confident that i know what i'm getting everyone now.

I just need to sit down and work out my accounts properly so i know how to pay for my camera and the presents in the next two months.

I'm excited about my photography class too. I took some books out at the library to have a read through before the class starts.

I just hope i find a part time job that doesn't interfere with it.

I asked at the hotel where the gym is, if they were looking for anyone, and they are, so i'm dropping my CV by on monday.

I figure that it can't hurt to hand it in at every local business, on the off chance that i find something within such easy walking distance.

I'm trying to be super optimistic about the chance of getting a job.

I'll start to worry if i get to New Year and there isn't an opportunity in sight.

I'm not wasting my time stressing out when my favourite holiday is just around the corner and i've got a ton of college work to keep my cool over.

But i figure there must be a way of claiming for job seekers and housing benefit if it gets to that stage - just to keep me afloat until something comes up.

I actually hate the thought of doing something like that - but i guess i've paid my taxes for a long feckin' time and i don't intend to stay unemployed, so if anyone's entitled to do it without feeling any semblance of guilt, it should be people like me.

Not that i have anything against people that do claim it, some of my family does so i know why it's done.

It's just, for me, i have too much pride getting in the way to feel okay with doing it.

Anyway. I'm hoping i do get everything i want doing this weekend done.

Just for once.

My bedroom is lovely and clean and tidy and my college work is getting that way.

I got a crazy energy spurt last night and started hoovering and dusting.

I'm cooking again...although i do need to go shopping.

And i've sent off any urgent correspondence.

Plus i get to have a little fun.

Talking of getting stuff done, i need to venture outside to get my dry washing in.

Ugh.

Also...i'd better try and get some ideas together for my power point presentation, so that it's easy to do over christmas.

I'm going to make sure i read a big chunck of Atlas Shrugged today and tomorrow, with the hopes of finally finishing it this week.

Though i do really need to finish Gatsby and start on The Help.

I'm rather hopeless sometimes really.

Maybe i take too much on?

Or mismanage my time somehow?

I'll try harder to get it all up to scratch.

I started reading this really interesting book called The Philosopher and the Wolf...and then had to mentally slap myself.

It can wait Rachael. Stuff for college can't. Sort yourself out.

*sighs*

I had to chuck away my pretty german paper lantern light thingy today.

It got ripped in the move and my attempts to glue it back together were fairly disasterous.

Maybe i can find an equally pretty one online somewhere.

Well i'm off. Coffee and choccy biccies to go with my book.

And i don't give a shit if most people my age are out drinking. I don't want to.

Oh i almost completely forgot.

Me and Shay went to the library on friday after college, so that i could join, and then afterwards decided to go get some dinner.

The Greek resteraunt we like was shut so we went for this pub on the corner near college.

It was really nice in there, and they had great deals so we got desserts too.

But the bonus was this delicious winter cider they had.

I ordered it spur of the moment, instead of the pear, and i wish to god i'd taken some home.

It was apple, vanilla and cinnammon.

So yummy. *sighs*