Yesterday was a bit of a crazy day.

I had to do my last post office trip and the queues were awful...but i got everything sent off alright.

Then i went to the council buildings and handed in my housing benefit application.

I keep getting a bit nervous about it...worrying that it won't come in time for me to pay my rent.

But i'm going to give the rental agents a ring today and explain the situation to them...just to put my mind at ease.

Same as i had to convince myself that starting my college work when i get back home would be fine.

I can never let things rest until i've thought about them from every angle.

But i know now that i have plenty of time to get my work done before college starts..and that the rent will get paid one way or another.

I just need to chill the fuck out about it.

I met Lewis from the station after i'd done that shiz and we got hot chocolates and took them on the bus to Hatfield.

Although i've been in the Galleria before, i'd not actually looked around the shops properly until yesterday.

I didn't realise they were all outlet stores, and we had a load of fun looking through everything.

I lent Lewis the money to buy a coat he liked and i bought myself a new violet Nica bag.

We met up with Shay for a little while, and Becky got her colleagues to pretend she was working in the stock room...when in actual fact she was at home with the day off.

Cheeky mare.

In the end, it looks like i'm getting my presents off Shay, Tivi and Jamie when we get back after christmas.

I think i must be the only organised one.

And i really wanted the violet hat to match my bag.

Anyway...me and Lew started walking to Becky's after her colleagues said she'd gone home.

She made us stop and wait for her friend Jade, who'd got off at the wrong bus stop and didn't know the way.

Jade's really nice. But then most of Becky's friends are :-)

We got to hers and she was faffing around, not letting me go anywhere near the kitchen, which is basically the social hub of the house.

Turns out she'd baked me a cake...just like i thought.

It was the Monster book of Monsters from Harry Potter.

Totally rocks.

She made me take it home with me for my actual birthday, so it's chilling in the fridge just begging to be eaten!

It was so sweet really. I've never had someone bake me a birthday cake before.

She's got me like four presents too, two for each.

I really hope they're not expensive cause i'll start to feel like i should have gotten her more.

After we had dinner at hers, me and Lew went to catch the bus, but ended up waiting outside for an hour in the snow.

I damn well near froze my toes off. Ugh.

I'm not going to be wishing for a white christmas anytime soon.

It might be beautiful to look at, but it's an absolute pain to walk in.

We finally got back to the station and picked up a taxi to collect the bags from mine and take us back to the station for our train home.

Between the two of us we just about managed to carry them all.

When we got on the platform, who should be litter picking, but the stupid mong's sister?!

She walked past me several times, pretending i didn't exist.

But everytime she did it i nearly cracked up laughing.

I know the first thing she's going to do is ring my boss and tell him i went to Bedford by train.

But i honestly couldn't care anymore.

I may still technically be employed by them for the next seven days....but i'm signed off and there's fuck all they can do about it.

I don't care what any of them think about me. I'm free..and that's all that matters.

I can finally put it all behind me and get on with my life.

Knowing i'm all the better for leaving.

I don't even care if i never speak a word to any of them again.

Even Lynn.

I've tried to be a good friend to her and she's failed me, time and time again.

If that's what kind of a person she wants to be, then she can get on with it, without me.

That all sounds a bit dreary and serious, but the truth is, i feel far from it.

Once we got back to Mums we moved all the presents out from under the tree and rearranged them all with the ones i'd brought. We can't help but look at every present and try and work out what it is.

Ma has a gift bag from Roy and it's full of presents! Neither of us can wait to see what he's got her.

It's bursting to the brim now. I love a christmas tree with piles of presents underneath.

I always chuckle when i see the pink birthday paper pile at the back of the tree.

They're not quite under the tree this year, but it's an odd enough place for a pile of birthday presents to be as it is.

Me and Lewis noticed two cards addressed to each of us at the front of the tree.

They're sealed shut with clear tape and someone's written on them:

'Do not open until Xmas day!'

and

'Not to be opened until the 25/12/2010, not before!!!'

The last one was on mine - i figure they think i'll think it's a birthday card.

But for the life of us we didn't recognise the hand writing.

Lewis thought it might be from Jenny, Ma's bestfriend - but she's broke right now so i was doubtful.

And then it struck me - they might be from Roy...so we matched up the writing to his xmas card to Ma and i was right.

I'm a bit worried that he's got me money or something.

At the time i hadn't even met him so i was starting to feel all kinds of guilty.

But then when Ma came home from dinner, he was with her, so i got a chance to meet him.

He's really nice though, very easy to talk to and definately not weird or anything.

Ma was being weird though...she was standing super close to me and running her fingers through my curls.

Calling me excitable and saying i make her house a madhouse when i arrive.

It was all so strange. The darling shiz started up again too and me and Lew were trying not to laugh.

I swear to god, it was like i was four again and my mum was all proud of her little girl.

'Cept i'm nearly twenty four and Ma has never been that sort of affectionate with me.

But whatever. If it makes her happy to act like that then who am i to stop her.

It's kind of nice to have her be nice to me anyhow...even if it makes me a little uncomfortable.

She told us we weren't allowed to buy Roy anything back cause he doesn't even let his daughters buy him presents.

So i suppose that's okay. I'll buy him a small thankyou gift and card instead. Mwahaha.

Me and Lew stayed up watching the Sorcerer's Apprentice...well, he stayed up and i fell asleep half way through.

Then I woke up this morning to Mum sitting on the sofa next to me, munching her cereal.

And Roxy - who has turned into an incredibly fat cat - nudging me with her nose.

She's asleep on my legs at the minute.

But she can stay there all day if she feels like it.

Today is the super lazy day. We're going to watch movies and bake yummy stuff to munch.

Tomorrow we're all going to register at the new doctor's surgery on the estate, aswell as pick up my doctors note from the old one and drop that off at the station with Lynn's present.

She may aswell have it - i'm not mean enough to not give it to her.

Then it's time for the last food shop. I'll grab some flour and icing sugar too, just in case.

Mandy and Adam will be driving up tomorrow too...Ma's a bit dubious about them getting here in all the snow...from Plymouth.

But i'm holding out hope that they'll get here tomorrow night and then we can all spend my birthday together.

I think we're going to the cinema, which means i'd better have a look at what i want to see.

And then we're out for lunch in town.

Ah. It really is nice to be back here. Even if it is only for a little while.

I feel so relaxed and happy...but most of all excited.

I want to rip open every present now and i can't wait to see what people think of what i've bought them.

Despite any little worries i might have - everything is so great right now, i couldn't really ask for more than i've already got.

Nothing is ever truly perfect, in reality there's always going to be little problems that crop up in every day life - but it's all so perfectly imperfect for me, that i don't think i've ever been happier.

Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal

Remember, this December, that love weighs more than gold. - J.D.D.Bacon

Black totes