2012-10-30 @ 10:09 p.m.
Path of destruction
So i'll start to psychoanalyse the reasons behind my feelings.
And i always gain a fresh view of my emotions and my past.
So that even though the anger is still there, i've gained a new appreciation of it.
I'll always be angry at you Mum. Even if it's not all your fault. Even if i love you because you're the only parent i have. I'll still be angry.
You took my father from me...and i'm rational enough to know it's not your fault...that what he did was not your fault...but you still made the decision to take him out of my life until i was old enough to fight for him.
It was too late by then.
And then you took my step-father away from me.
You replaced one father with another, and then you took him from me.
You might not have thought about your actions, and you can't be blamed for his behaviour. But you were weak, and you took him away from me because i was the stronger person and i faced up to your mistakes.
I don't know how to forgive you. I'm a little bit broken because of them and because of you.
I'm a daddy's girl and you took away my two daddies. And you left me with a Mum that doesn't know how to be my mum.
And now a step dad that's more alien than Mars...who takes what little of you i have left away...and you let him.
I'm still angry. But i can learn to live with that.
<<ghosts []the mist>>
A shit load of contradictions, wrapped up neatly, with a nice pretty bow.
Reading. Writing. Zoos & Animal Parks. Bowling. Coffee Ice-cream. Blues Rock/Alternative/Indie Music. Fallen Angels. Wild Flowers. Pastrami. Vanilla Coke. Autumn. Harry Potter. Driving. Turquoise. Southern Comfort. Aviators. Semolina. Christmas. Museums. Dream Catchers. Roller Coasters. Tattoos. Winter Cider. Philosophy. Vintage Shops. Night time. Chinese Lanterns. Hoop earrings. Sci-Fi. Flowery Skirts. Mythical Creatures. Weeping Willows. Castles. Yankee Candles. Rainy Mornings. Ballet Pumps. Baking. Art Galleries. Long pendants. Quills and Ink. Spiced Rum. Libraries. Sleeping. Converse. Forests. Banana Milk. Venetian Masks. Poetry. Fireworks. US License Plates. Graveyards. Quotes. White Chocolate. Cats. Stars. Scrap Books. Shopping. Metallic Nail Varnish. Keepsakes. Phoenixes. Golden Grahams. Horror Movies. Tea (Esp. Rose Earl Grey). Lemonade Shower Gel. Travelling. Tragic Love. Piercings. Old Book & New Sponge Smells. Storms. Witty People. Cherries. Colourful Socks. American Dramas. Airports. Aston Martins. Hazelnut Lattes. Cowboys. Skeleton Keys. Cajun Chicken. Ivy. Dreams. Cinnamon Waffles. Old London. French Cheese. Trilby Hats. Antiques. Colourful Plasters. Postcards. Colourful paperclips. Bangles. Marvel & DC Comics. Key rings. Notebooks.
Dishonesty. Racism. Narrow-Mindedness. Idiocy. Unwarranted Violence. Neglective Parents. Bullying. Unearned Respect. Betrayal. Extreme Heat. Bright Lights. Sickness. Mushrooms & Olives. Alarm Clocks. Unfounded Jealousy. South African Accents. Celebrity Biographies. Suffocating Presences. Restrictions. Superficial people. Game playing. Routines.
Robert Frost Leather Bound Journal.
Small Vinyl Book Ends.
Astro Star Lamp.
designer
joy.deprived