2010-08-23 @ 8:27 p.m.
Fractured
And i can't even explain myself properly.
She screwed up my plans to hang out with Lewis today so she could entertain her boyfriend and his little boys...and now she's screwed up tomorrow aswell.
It's Lewis's results day that i was hoping to spend with him, after work of course...but no, she's having a day out with her boyfriend and his sons and making Lewis go too.
And to top that all off, apparently they're going to rent a house together...with my brother too.
And not even that local either.
She's just fucking pissing me off.
I wish she'd stop pretending to be something she's not.
And as cruel as it is, i wish her boyfriend would see her for her true colours.
See how much she disregards her daughter.
Her daughter who can't help being more like her father than her mother.
Her daughter who has always been good to her, always tried to love her.
God help me.
Sometimes i feel like curling up in a ball and letting it all out. Screaming for the unfairness of some situations.
I don't feel welcome over there anymore. I feel shut out. Cut off. Alone.
He's more important. There's always someone else who is.
He's usurped my position and she's welcomed him with open arms. Even worse, she's forced him to do it.
He's probably not a bad bloke...but am i really going to want to go there for dinners and chats? Another mans house?
I had enough of this through years of being made unwelcome by my step father.
What about Christmas? What am i supposed to do at Christmas?
All the pain is going to keep sinking it's way under my skin and one of these days i'm going to crack from the pressure.
I'm going to splinter apart.
I just figured out how to put images on here, and i miss Roxy...so here's my freakishly cuddly cat.
A shit load of contradictions, wrapped up neatly, with a nice pretty bow.
Reading. Writing. Zoos & Animal Parks. Bowling. Coffee Ice-cream. Blues Rock/Alternative/Indie Music. Fallen Angels. Wild Flowers. Pastrami. Vanilla Coke. Autumn. Harry Potter. Driving. Turquoise. Southern Comfort. Aviators. Semolina. Christmas. Museums. Dream Catchers. Roller Coasters. Tattoos. Winter Cider. Philosophy. Vintage Shops. Night time. Chinese Lanterns. Hoop earrings. Sci-Fi. Flowery Skirts. Mythical Creatures. Weeping Willows. Castles. Yankee Candles. Rainy Mornings. Ballet Pumps. Baking. Art Galleries. Long pendants. Quills and Ink. Spiced Rum. Libraries. Sleeping. Converse. Forests. Banana Milk. Venetian Masks. Poetry. Fireworks. US License Plates. Graveyards. Quotes. White Chocolate. Cats. Stars. Scrap Books. Shopping. Metallic Nail Varnish. Keepsakes. Phoenixes. Golden Grahams. Horror Movies. Tea (Esp. Rose Earl Grey). Lemonade Shower Gel. Travelling. Tragic Love. Piercings. Old Book & New Sponge Smells. Storms. Witty People. Cherries. Colourful Socks. American Dramas. Airports. Aston Martins. Hazelnut Lattes. Cowboys. Skeleton Keys. Cajun Chicken. Ivy. Dreams. Cinnamon Waffles. Old London. French Cheese. Trilby Hats. Antiques. Colourful Plasters. Postcards. Colourful paperclips. Bangles. Marvel & DC Comics. Key rings. Notebooks.
Dishonesty. Racism. Narrow-Mindedness. Idiocy. Unwarranted Violence. Neglective Parents. Bullying. Unearned Respect. Betrayal. Extreme Heat. Bright Lights. Sickness. Mushrooms & Olives. Alarm Clocks. Unfounded Jealousy. South African Accents. Celebrity Biographies. Suffocating Presences. Restrictions. Superficial people. Game playing. Routines.
Robert Frost Leather Bound Journal.
Small Vinyl Book Ends.
Astro Star Lamp.
designer
joy.deprived