I wasn�t up quite so early this morning, but then I did stay up late watching movies. Battle: Las Vegas (which I thought was pretty cool) and Red Riding Hood (which I adored).

I�m feeling thoroughly relaxed, which is nice. Actually, it�s more than nice � it�s a positive relief.

My room smells like oranges and blossom � partly because of the washing that�s hanging on the airer, and partly because of the window that�s been wide open for 48 hours.

I went into town yesterday and spent money that I shouldn�t have done, but I can�t bring myself to worry about it. Money situations always seem to sort themselves out, and it was nice to be able to stock up the fridge and buy the little things that had been bouncing about in the back of my mind.

Like hair dye (I had to buy two this time, to make sure all of my hair gets covered properly � hot cinnamon here we come!) and Barry M clear nail varnish which is apparently strengthening my nails as I speak. I enjoyed wandering around the shops again (so in my element) and being able to pick up the bargains I found � like the Neutrogena pink grapefruit face scrub I love, and an array of deals in the new 99p store.

I found a pair of contact lenses in my bag and decided I wasn�t saving them up for any specific occasion, so yesterday would do � it meant I could don my funky green aviators and enjoy the sunshine properly. Out came the summery top and cute rocket dog pumps!

I treated myself to the yummelicious Pastrami sandwich that M&S do, then went home to read my magazines, and started re-reading my house of night books � totally light hearted.

I ended up emailing, calling or messaging pretty much everyone � making up for the awful neglect I subject them to sometimes. Then I wrote out all the birthday cards I�d put to one side, and organised the little Easter cards and chocolates into padded envelopes to send off to my family next week. It made me feel much more like me.

I can�t wait �tul I get a bit more money and can buy something nice for Ma, Lew, Lisha, Adam and Becky � missing their birthdays really sucked.

I feel so much more positively about everything today though. I think it�s a combination of things: realising that my money situation will be clearing itself up pretty soon, and it will no longer feel like a heavy weight around my neck; appreciating the new bonds I have with friends and family, and the time I�m going to get to spend with them; looking forward to going to Greece and even more so to the summer, and the laid back plans I�ve made; realising that college is nearly over, and that if I put in a little effort over the half term I will have practically finished everything; realising that I can�t put time constraints on getting healthy again, that it�ll happen in my own time for sure; acknowledging that I�m not super woman, but I�m pretty fantastic in my own way.

I just feel so optimistic all of a sudden. Which is not to say that I think everything is perfect, far from it I guess. I just think it�ll all work out the way it�s meant to, and come September when I haul ass to Winchester and start the next phase of my life, I know I�ll be happy and on the path to being everything I�ve always wanted to be; simply me. *sighs happily*

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